My heart feels vulnerable and exposed right now and it scares the crap out of me.

I haven't fallen for a boy, not like this, in 10 years. I feel like I might die a little bit.

I don't want to let my guard down, not after the last two years have been spent picking up the pieces - the end of a marriage, a ridiculous rebound relationship, and finding who the hell I was again.

And now, out of nowhere and by complete surprise, this person comes into my life who seems too good. Too good for me, too good to be real.

I take it one day at a time. One breath at a time. The fear of loving and being left, being hurt, being destroyed, scares me so much I can't eat. Can't sleep.

It's beautiful. It's the best part. But it's also the worst.