it is no great surprise that my ending is here
that the life you have discovered is something of an extra ordinary matter all together
i am no longer a small child or a scared girl but i am still no woman you would want to know any better
for only far worse can come of it
there is always an out and a door in which i will be forever walking out of
like so many stomachs made of dust i am all together afraid of the being still
in this, you have studied my life and my (many) lovers - their broken tails like a flight lost at sea
i have blamed myself endlessly over the years for all of their misfortune.
i am humbled that there has been so much said, in the thousands of stories i have told you in between the morning and the night and the hours following, all about the turn of events, including the (many) things that have fallen outside of me.
no one has known me fully but you learn the stories and know the lies i tell myself about the love i used to hold for men.
i am sad and so was he, with his small hands and feet, ego as big as america.
i forget what any of this was ever about.
happy anniversary to things unsaid and all that goes left undone.